S Club 7 are back, well sort of...

S Club 7 have reformed (well, three of them and they've dropped the 7 off the end of their name now) and they're touring Australia... Erm were they even well-known in Australia back in the day?! When the likes of Take That and The Spice Girls reformed and were a huge success second time round, you can totally understand why other groups would jump on the band-wagon but will it really work with only three members of a seven piece band? Not to mention the fact that the three left standing aren't looking quite so sharp this time round...

Oh hang about, is that a fourth member in the background??

What on earth was Alex Reid thinking posing for pictures with a baby bump pretending to struggle with shopping bags, just days after Chantelle was snapped struggling for real?? Ex-wife Katie Price has said he is taking the p*ss out of Chantelle and I can't help but agree. Is there any hope for the unborn child with all this drama going on already?!

Should have really got a bag-for-life...

Lauren Goodger's been tweeting more pics of herself. This time showing off her newly toned stomach. Well, good on her for slimming down if that's what she wanted to do. But I think it's a shame that for someone who has so publicly battled with her weight, she has given in to the 'internet trolls' and gone on a crash diet just to conform to how critics think she should look.

Breeeeeeaaaaathhh innnnn!!!

Spencer to be the new bachelor

So Made In Chelsea's love-rat Spencer is going to be the star of the next 'The Bachelor'. For anyone who didn't see the last series of this, it featured Gavin Henson and was PURE entertainment! Gavin ended up picking the absolute mega b*tch from the line-up of bimbo's who all had to do tasks and go on dates with him every week. It was no surprise to hear that their relationship didn't last long after the show finished. So if old posho Spenny is going to be the bachelor what about poor Louise? Knew she should have stuck with Jamie.

Come and get it girls!

Jessie J has said she wants to stop dressing like a transvestite. I don't think this is Jessie's problem. I think the problem is that she should have stuck to singing and not got involved with a TV program that's turned out to be a flop and irritated millions of viewers with her annoying traits in the process. Before the show all we thought of her was wow what an amazing voice she has!

I like to do it like a dude, and what?

Amy Childs is going to have another boob job to take her up to a DD as she's not happy with her already 'saggy' pair. Do we not think it's sad that at just 21 she feels the need to do this? I wonder, had she still been living in the real world working as a beautician and there'd been no TOWIE (shock horror!) would she still be putting herself through this? And one last thought, if her boobs are sagging now, when she gets a bigger pair won't this make them worse...?

How's she gonna fit the new pair in that dress??

Sunday night was the last in this series of TOWIE until the Marbs' special! I think the producers are having a laugh if they think we're to believe the whole Arg and Gemma love story! I mean come on, they really are clutching at straws now aren't they? I've never seen such an awkward kiss and what happened to Rami?! Very silly. Think they need to bring in some new characters if they're having to make up stories about the old ones.

That's it Arg, don't forget to touch her bum...

Cheryl performs on The Voice

Who saw Cheryl (not Cole, just Cheryl)’s performance on The Voice last night? She’s sure got some moves and she was looking hot as ever, but, I can’t help thinking it’s slightly hypocritical to have an artist miming on a show which claims to be all about ‘the voice’...

How d'ya think 'a did pet?

What’s the deal with Rita Ora? She seems cool enough but is she not just a Rihanna tribute act? I mean, she looks the same, she sounds the same and her name even begins with the same letter? Confused.com.

Spot the difference.

What do we think of Mario (TOWIE)'s new hairdo?? Lucy has branded it 'The Mario'. So are lads all across the country gonna be rushing out to the barbers now? Hmm, prefer a nice short back and sides myself.

Ouch, neck ache.

Mark Wright new reality show

I see Mark Wright has a new reality show on the cards. ‘Mark Wright’s Hollywood Nights’ will show Mark and a group of his mates pranking each other on holiday. Well, that’s what I gather it’s all about. Obviously I will be watching but I reckon this will be the ‘make or break’ for Mr Wright.

Watch out Hollywood coz me and ma boys are propa' nuttas!!!

Peter Andre was seen meeting up on holiday with Ashley Cole recently. Considering Pete is portrayed by his management as the ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ family man, I think people may get a different impression of him if he starts hanging out with love rat Ashley.

Just wait till goody-two-shoes Pete comes on a night out with me.

Wednesday’s TOWIE was rather explosive! I do hope the row between Gemma and Charlie wasn’t set up ‘purely for our entertainment’ as it was rather OTT (Gemma’s shouting mainly). I’m glad to see Joey and Sam are officially back together but the question is, will their relationship survive the upcoming trip to Marbs?? Oh and what has happened to Georgina? Has she even been in this series?

Er hello? Did you forget to film me or what?

The Exclusives was interesting last night. It made me come to the conclusion that I would NOT want to work at Kerrang magazine if that’s what happens when you go interview a rock band! (For those who didn’t see, posh boy Felix was pinned down in a chair whilst the band threatened to tattoo a pair of boobs on him, he narrowly escaped at the last moment).

This is how he could have looked.

Geri to join The X-Factor

I can’t believe Geri Halliwell is going to be a judge on this year’s X-Factor! No disrespect to Geri because of course she was a member the absolute best girl band of all time, BUT, she’s already been a judge on Pop Idol (same thing) TEN years ago! Bit of a back track isn’t it Simon? Scraping the barrel I think.

She's not gonna remake this dress AGAIN surely...

Interesting episode of Made in Chelsea on Sunday. I’m pretty sure the idea was for the viewer to be happy that Cheska and Binky finally unravelled the mystery of super-smiley Kimberley, but I just ended up feeling sorry for her? Busy-body Cheska’s obsession with the whole situation made for uncomfortable viewing and she is CLEARLY jealous that Kimberley is dating the dashing Richard. Oh and is anyone else a little disappointed that Millie and Rosie are making friends again?

Oh fiddlesticks who on earth invited the ex?

Model turned actress Lily Cole (red head from the Rimmel ads) has said in a recent interview that she was bullied at school. Is it just me or do a hell of a lot of these gorgeous, super confident (and super rich) people in the lime light these days have the same sob story? I’m not saying Lily is lying but I can’t help but wonder if there’s any hope of success for the people who weren’t bullied?! Just a thought.

Bullies, look at me now!

Harry Styles' new girlfriend

Harry Styles is apparently going out with Emily Atack (blonde from The Inbetweeners). At least Emily is nearer to Harry’s age this time. I mean the whole Caroline Flack thing was a bit weird let’s be honest. Poor old Caroline should have snapped up Olly Murs when she had the chance!

See, perfect match this time!

It seems like Chantelle Houghton has been pregnant forever doesn’t it? It’s looking like her and Alex Reid’s relationship is on the rocks though. It’s a shame but they did get pregnant within like a minute of meeting, so it wouldn’t come as a big shock if they did split. With the baby due in just a month, Alex seems preoccupied cavorting around the country in his underwear once again. Still, I think it is mens underwear this time at least.

Sorry Chan.

Marcus Collins is getting dropped from his record label. It must be hard to go from being so popular for the few months you’re on X-Factor to just disappearing (unless you’re One Direction). I don’t think the fact that he rushed to get a single out helped him especially releasing a cover of an extremely popular song. I expect his album will be available in all good pound shops in the not so distant future.

Could this suit be to blame...?

There was rather a lot going on in last night’s TOWIE. Joey going home with a random girl; Tom K texting Lydia; Tom P dating Lauren P; Arg sulking in his pink dressing gown; Nanny Pat getting new teeth... (yeah, she’s still in it) and the list goes on. I have to say, as much as I want to like him, ‘Little Chris’ gives me the creeps big time. I think it’s his voice? Or his subject of conversation? Or the absolute cringe-fest of a chat up line he tried out on Frankie? Whatever the reason, I’m not a fan. On the other hand I really love Diags and I think we need to see more of him! Even if he’s not quite got the chiselled looks that some of the others have he seems like a really top bloke.

#ILOVEDIAGS

Lauren G to return to TOWIE

So Lauren Goodger IS coming back to TOWIE and has been filming again already. Who knows whether there was any truth behind the rumours of her ‘diva strops’ a couple of weeks ago but I can’t help but wonder whether she might have been better off just quitting anyway. I mean, since Mark left the show she seems to have had nothing but stress on screen what with her shop getting petrol bombed, bitch-fights with Jess (rolls eyes) and her ongoing battle with her weight.

Oh no what now...

Kim Kardashian has been out and about in London this week. Apparently she’s said she reckons Brentwood sounds like her kinda place. I’m sure Mick and Kirk would be more than happy to show the bootylicious babe around town!

Welcome to The Sugar'ut babes.

Big Brother is due to start again next month. I’m so excited to see the characters that will be entertaining us for the whole summer once again. Apparently Jay and Louise from last year's series have announced they’re getting married in June. I didn’t even know they were still together let alone getting married. Good luck to them. They seemed like a pair of genuinely decent people when they were on the show and made a good couple. Oh and I’ve just remembered who won last year’s show, the awful Aaron! Ugghh.

Bet he's still wearing that jumper.

I loved the new show ‘The Exclusives’ the other night. It’s kinda like a mix between The Apprentice and TOWIE (perfect!). On first impressions my favourite character so far is posh boy Felix. Although I do wonder how he got on a show like this as he didn’t seem to have a clue who any of the celebrities they were chasing were? I can think of a certain celeb loving wannabe journo who would have been a much better candidate for this position...

Psycho in a hat in the middle and Headmistress at the front.

Katie Price wedding plans

Is Katie Price going to tie the knot in Las Vegas for the second time?? Recent snaps suggest she might but I don’t think this will happen. It’d be pretty tacky (ahem) to get married in Vegas when she’s already been there, done that and got the ring with someone else. No, I think she will come up with something completely different this time round. No doubt it will all be very well publicised as with everything she does but come off it we’d all be secretly gutted if we didn’t get to see the snaps of wedding number 3!

Please no wear those glasses on wedding day Katie.

It was great to see Gemma with her new man on Wednesday’s TOWIE. She seems genuinely well suited to Rami, unlike her last ‘relationship’ with Charlie which was possibly the most bizarre pairing imaginable. Glad to see Charlie’s now happily going out with bubbly hairdresser Bobby. Oh, hang on, Charlie’s not gay? Oh...

Awkward...!

Simon Cowell has told Radio 4 that he thinks The Voice is just a rip off of The X-Factor. Well, he’s absolutely right isn’t he? The only thing that’s different is that 99% of The Voice contestants are actually decent singers. Oh and there aren’t any joke-acts involved. But isn’t that what we love about The X-Factor? The best thing The Voice has revealed is how cute Will.I.Am is! Who’d have thought the big time music producer and Black Eyed Peas front man would be so adorable.

Could this be the next Jedward?? Oh no, wrong show.

TOWIE b*tch fight

Well TOWIE was certainly worth the wait on Sunday night! Loved the b*tch fight between Jess, Cara and Billie. I think Jess was probably one of those kids at school who would stand and cry in the middle of the playground for attention. Maybe it’s time the Wrights as a whole left the show? Oh, and what was with the wedding dress Jess??

Would you wanna mess with these two?

Talking of b*tch fights, what about the Made in Chelsea’s ‘Millie vs Rosie’ ongoing row last night?! Millie’s face when Rosie and her crew walked into the spa was an absolute picture. What makes it even more hilarious is the fact that their whole war started over Hugo who is now dating the new girl (keeping up?) who was sat there too amongst the whole spat! My favourite character has to be the adorable Francis. But does anyone seriously skate-board round the streets of Chelsea I wonder?

She'd better not be wearing the same robe as me...

Kerry Katona’s had (another) tummy tuck and has (another) new bloke on the go. The op apparently cost in the region of £8,500 and she has previously spent £15,000 on plastic surgery since having children. Anyone else wondering where she’s still getting money from? She was ditched from her previous management for going out boozing too much and she’s hardly been seen for the past 6 months or so. I’m guessing we’ll be seeing more of her again in the near future.

Thought you'd seen the last of me??

I wish Mollie King and Prince Harry would just get it on. What an awesome couple they would make?! Mollie is definitely posh enough for Hazza and she once said in an interview that she'd never eaten a kebab (!) So I say the pair of them should get on down to the Charcoal Grill and experience this first together!

Ummm... I'll go for the mixed doner with all the trimmings please kind sir!

Britain's Got Talent Winner 2012

So Britain’s Got Talent 2012 was won by a dog! Great news I say. Pudsey the dog had a lot more life in him than some of the dreary singers on this year’s final. I get sick and tired of obnoxious kids standing up on the stage bold as brass, oozing with confidence when most of us hardly have the balls to even do karaoke without half a dozen jager bombs inside us first.

Pudsey papped having a wee.

 I’m so relieved that TOWIE is back on our screens tonight. With no episode last Wednesday or Sunday I was starting to get the shakes from the lack of my twice-weekly fix. Of course it gets more ridiculous every series but it’s still as addictive as hell. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time for Nanny Pat to get the boot though. I mean, she was ever so cute in series 1, bringing Mark his dinner and doing his washing with a few added words of ‘old-person’ wisdom thrown in. But now she comes across as, well to put it bluntly, an old witch! Scenes of her bitching with Carol and Jess have really done her no favours.

Yep you heard, time to retire.

I hear Amy Childs wants to be hooked up with Olly Murs. According to Amy, they could be the new ‘Essex power couple’.  Hmm anyone get the impression Amy’s fed up of being out of the limelight for five minutes?

Oh my god hunnay, where've all the paps gone?

Have you seen Nicola Roberts’ (more commonly referred to as ‘the ugly one’ from Girls Aloud) new hairdo? I’ve always admired the way she has maintained her individuality and not been pressured by the media to be ‘like everyone else’. Ok so she's not the first celeb to dye her hair pink but you won't see a hint of fake tan on her and I think she looks great.

No more ginger jokes.